Game Physics 101: Elevators

Game Physics 101: Elevators

"Elevator's here!" I heard someone call out.

I kept shootin' at the zombies that keep on flyin' into the hallways of No Mercy hospital.

Both Ω-Solidstate-Ω and Un_kébécois also reloaded their weapons, and same with the A.I survivor as well.

I also realoded too. I always kept my only trusted ranged - the Military Sniper Rifle - as my main and either a magnum or a melee as my second.

And trust me.. it is not easy when you have like four Specials comin' right after your ass every five seconds or so.

Tomboy, Freeman, and the others are those four Specials.

And like I said, it's never easy to do anythin' with 'em around. Especially Freeman, entitled as the "Most Badass" among us all.

Even I'm not as bad ass like him, but I'm good.. especially whenever I use a range on 'em.

After all the common infected were lain wasted on the tiled, marble floors, I called to both Un_kébécois and Ω-Solidstate-Ω, "Area's clear! Get to the elevator!"

"Let's go!" Ω-Solidstate-Ω called out.

We all grabbed some ammunition along the way, always makin' sure we have enough for top floor of No Mercy hospital.

One of us pushed the botton of the elevator as everyone piled inside the small space.

And we sat around, waitin' on the elevator to take us to our desinated floor.

Then suddenly, an idea popped into my head.

Since my name was Buttsex Negotiator and one of my friends, [F²]™†ƒяєคк _Lync†, thought it would alot funny if I changed my name into somethin' more halarious than it is now.

And so.. he finally got his wish.

Durin' mid-game, still in the elevator, I opened up Steam usin' Shift+Tab.

Then I right-clicked my profile icon on the bottom right of my screen, and then selected "Change Profile Name."

Once it had opened up, I typed in the desired name that would be more humorous than before and pushed "Ok."

I finally exited out of Steam usin' the same tactic for openin' it in the first place.

Then finally in-game, I see somethin' writin' within the invisible chat log.. it said:



*Buttsex Negotiator changed name to Surprise Buttsex Negotiator.



I laughed it out, both in-game and in real life.

Since [F²]™†ƒяєคк _Lync† wanted my name to be more humorous. After I showed him one of my sprays in-game, it showed a picture of a orange tabby kitten tryin' to have his way with a black and brown puppy.

And on the top left corner, it said: "Surprise Buttsecks!!!"

And the poor puppy has that surprise look on it's face!

And after my 'laugh out loud', I noticed that the other survivors weren't nearby.

All I see was the elevator cables, brick walls..

The elevator itself risin' above me..

And as I looked down, all I saw was the bottom of the elevator shaft.. ever so swiftly makin' it's way towards me.

Then.. I realized what happened.

I fell through the fuckin' elevator!

With pure instinct, I screamed, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

Both the survivors and the Infected stopped, tryin' to figure out what happened.

I continued to fall.. until the bottom of the elevator shaft had finally reached me (Or I finally reached it! >.<) and died on impact.

"What happened?!" both sides asked me.

"I fuckin' fell through the elevator!" I was literally bawlin' my eyes out and laughin' at the same time.

I swear I thought I heard both Tomboy and Freeman laughin' in the background.

"I thought Valve fuckin' fixed it!" I continued.

In fact, I was really hopin' that they didn't.. it was my favourite glitch among No Mercy!

"You finally got your wish there, Mary. I fell through the fuckin' elevator!" I was still bawlin' my eyes and laughin', still funny as hell.

She just laughed.

Durin' the L4D2 Party that occured on Halloween night, she wanted Freeman to fall through the elevator durin' that Versus game.

But instead.. I took that Karma.

And so.. that round of versus didn't last long.

Me.. died at the bottom of the elevator shaft.

Un_kébécois.. recieved an denial from the hospital, either got Chargered or Jockeyed off the buildin'.

Ω-Solidstate-Ω.. even though he was the 'last-man standin'' didn't make it to the safe house. Died from the four player-controlled Specials.

And as for the A.I survivor.. nobody cares about that. Obviously died from lackin' sense to see that the others need help! Friggin' useless bot..